I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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