Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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