Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
