Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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