Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
