fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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