why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize