you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
