the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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