the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
