My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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