summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
