i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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