This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
