Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize