K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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