dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
