So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
