You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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