You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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