he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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