Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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