i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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