I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
