i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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