Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
