i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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