I feel like abortions should bother me more
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
