the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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