Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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