Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
