haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize