If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
