I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
