The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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