planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
