I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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