Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
