I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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