weddingsv make me drug and hornr
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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