I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
