whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
