I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
