Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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