One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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