she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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