is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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