Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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