did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
