I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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