We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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