Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
