Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
