I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
