We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
