i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
