you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
