So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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