It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
