I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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