Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
