you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
