I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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