flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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