I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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