I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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