Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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