I want to walk on stilts...naked
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
