I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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